Load In Lessons: HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE

Yesterday was a big day: loading in for How I Learned to Drive at the Bridge Theatre @ Shetler Studios.  Tickets are selling fast (Fri 10/18 and Thur 10/24 are sold out and Fri 10/31 is almost there as well)!  Get your hot ticket here: http://www.smarttix.com/Show.aspx?ShowCode=HOW27

Some people think a degree in theater is highly impractical, but on Load In Day, a theater artist, technician or lackey employs the following disciplines:

Spatial Relationships/Geometry: cramming boxes and props into a borrowed van.  Someone will say, "We can't fit all those IKEA boxes in here!"  But you do.  Somehow.

Engineering: you will hang and focus lights with NASA-like intensity.  "This angle won't work for that entrance.  They'll be on the dark side."  Discussion of refraction and ROYGBIV ensue.

Shop Class-iness: the voice of your shop teacher rings in your head as you sit on the floor with an Allen wrench, constructing a cheap table and cursing.  You're glad you're not wearing a tie and using the sander, which any good student of shop knows can only end badly.

Physical Conditioning: helpful when painting walls.  You're just glad you're doing the one upstage wall and that you tricked your stage manager into measuring out the perimeter with painter's tape.  Drink your coffee.  Get pumped.  And remember to apply two coats.

Diplomacy:  you may need to talk to surly people when you emerge 12 hours into your day, blinking like the hazy mole you have become.  Non-theater people will not understand that you have been in a closed space inhaling paint, assembling tables, hanging lights and lifting heavy items.  Do not speak.  Eat something filling for this 5 pm lunch, then return to the darkness.

Philosophy and Religious Studies: theater people are superstitious pagans, who, while under the influence of non-low-VOC paint, impart their world view and wisdom freely.  Consider playing Bob Marley on your iPhone to underscore the messages of tolerance and freedom.

Math: measuring twice and painting once ensures your stage manager does not abandon ship.  Also, count those little wooden inserts you need to make that Scandinavian bookcase stand upright.

English: at some point, the actors will arrive and speak this language with great emotion, until the stage manager yells "Hold!" All bodies will freeze, until someone cracks a joke.

Note: we are still trying to find a practical use for that minor in accounting.